adi.

Every time i see a squirrel, i think of him. Every time i hear Breaking Ben, i think of him. Every time he hears Kings of Leon, he thinks of me. He's my peach, i'm his kiwi.
He threw my phone in the trash once, i showed him a picture of a dead squirrel and i thought he was going to kill me.
We use to have these poke wars, and tickle fights. Always at it, it's like a tag game. I use to go out of my way to be near him, or talk to him. Beg him to help me with a math problem or, let him tease me on our english paper topics.
Whatever it took to get close to him..


Per usual, i'm digging my heart a hole even deeper than it's already in. But who cares, maybe it'll pay off one day.
Naturally for me, days, weeks, and months have passed and yet the single image of his name on my screen sends me right back to where I started. Hell bend, on hopelessly wondering "what if?"
Constantly seeing him after class walking down the halls with "the better choice" [Even in my eyes, at times.] Wishing it was me, but getting over the jealousy factor quickly. Feelings never really mattered before, in the sense of attachment. Going on our 4th year of "fake hate," [still never gets old] that never ending game between us. People around us taking us seriously when we know deep down we mean absolutely nothing by it. It's a joke, it's a game. It's all apart of our super nauseating-grossness. We're just so cute no one can stand us, not that anyone would ever know or suspect "us."
Not that "us" could or would happen at this point in time, at least to my knowledge. Then again, Mr. Peach Twitcher always has something up his selves. Even just minutes ago, he gave me such a shocking reply. Send my cheeks ablaze to where you might have been able to see a color aside from mocha. [Gosh he's so damn pale too, boy needs to see some sunlight.]
He never has failed to make me smile even on my worst days, and even when he's being a colossal butt-head.
It's not surprising, but yet still makes me turn my head in awe, after all this time he still cares enough to spend his day talking to me. I can hear his voice and the sarcastic, bored tone through each and every letter.
I care. Odd as it may be i do.
It's hard not to with him. How his smile lights up everything around him, and how his eyes twinkle when he thinks he out smarted you or he's winning, how his hair hangs over his eyes, his lips get all pouty looking when he's tired, how he buries his head under his own arms when he stops listening or how he just looks at you with that blank stare because he's trying not to laugh at something utterly stupid that you just said or did. He's sweet enough to stay up till 3AM and talk to me as if it's an automatic daily routine.
Nothing seems to have changed between us, other than the fact that it wont happen.
Still mushy as can be, still completely sickening, still cute as ever, still a totally sweetheart that i allowed to get away.
<3